Gonna get myself connected

Every January, we reach for the same resolutions. Exercise more. Drink less. Be more productive. The self-help industry cheers us on, selling the idea that happiness is a solo project best pursued with apps. But you can forget most of that if your goal is sustained happiness rather than fleeting boosts to your ego. There is only one New Year’s resolution that comes with a happiness guarantee: more social connection.

Across countries, ages, incomes, and personality types, the quality and quantity of our social relationships are among the strongest predictors of how happy we are. Stronger than exercise. Stronger than income once basic needs are met. Stronger than almost any individual habit we typically resolve to fix in January.

And yet social connection rarely makes the resolution list. That’s partly because it sounds vague. “Be more connected” doesn’t fit neatly into a checklist. It’s also because we underestimate it. We tend to think of relationships as nice extras: things that matter once we’ve sorted out our health, career, and personal goals. But in fact, it’s usually the other way around. Social connection provides the foundation for other goals. And social connection is not the reward for a good life; it’s one of the main ingredients.

Humans are social animals. Our brains evolved to be acutely sensitive to inclusion, belonging, and shared experience. A good conversation, a shared joke, or the feeling that someone has your back continues to pay dividends long after it happens. Loneliness, by contrast, is devastating for happiness. It predicts poorer mental health, worse physical health, and shorter lives. It’s no accident that solitary confinement has been of the harshest forms of punishment for centuries.

We know all of this, and we say we value relationships. The problem is that we organise and prioritise our lives around other things. Work deadlines crowd out friendships. Meeting a friend for coffee doesn’t obviously advance your career, burn many calories, or tick a measurable goal.

None of this reflects a deliberate rejection of connection as such. It’s simply what happens when we don’t design our lives to protect it. So, if you want a New Year’s resolution that works, make it concrete. Don’t resolve to “be more social”. Resolve to change the structure of your week.

You could start by scheduling regular contact. A standing lunch, a weekly walk, a Sunday call. Lower the bar. Social connection doesn’t require deep and meaningful conversations every time. Casual chats, shared routines, and low-stakes interactions count. Talking to neighbours, colleagues, or the barista you see every morning still adds to wellbeing. Small connections accumulate.

Treat social time as non-negotiable, not as something that happens if everything else is done. Stop treating socialising as a reward you earn after being productive. That logic quietly undermines happiness. Connection is a necessity, not a luxury. You already know all of this but act as if other things matter more. So, design in time with people you like being with and here’s to a Happy New Year, all year.